Wheelchairs can go up steps, right?
improvisation is the name of this game
Double Check the Plans
This is what happens when you delay the construction and architecture meetings. Coming together on the final day of the build for the first time is never a good idea. Did some of the plans get lost in the mail? Was there a memo that one party missed with a faulty online connection?
Come on, people, we all know that technology and online communication is great, especially when we can have Skype meetings and do less and less of our meetings and work face to face, but for an important job like this massive over water bridge, it was vital to have one of those face to face meetings early on in the process. Saves coming to the final step and realising that things just aren’t matching up…
Wise Words
As mentioned above, signs are important. Especially when they are conveying an important message, and in construction works, that means making it known that there’s probably going to be some inconveniences. For this building owner, just another regular apology sign wouldn’t cut it.
They had a point they wanted to make, and whether or not the contractor took it as a light hearted quip, or a more personal jab, we aren’t sure. Good point though, Rome surely wasn’t built in a day - those workers probably needed naps and lunch breaks and days off too!
*Plonk* The Building Goes There…
It looks as if that’s exactly what happened in this scenario. Maybe from street view it looked fine, though the cars passing the building taking that narrow detour of the otherwise wide highway would notice. And anyone else with a skyline view. It’s probably a running joke with airline and heli-pilots that see it regularly.
Either way, this building really doesn’t belong there at all. We wonder if the contractors had a passion for the SimCity game? Who else agrees that from this view it looks quite reminiscent of a beginner player just dropping a building in the middle of a road and deciding that ‘eh, looks good enough’…?
Best Road Worker EVER
Most people driving their cars through road works have probably felt at one point or another a little bit of empathy for the person holding the sign for hours on end in their reflective gear in the heat of the sun. Solution? Replace real person with paper person. Saves on work insurance, extra pay, heat complaints and more.
Basically, if all the guy is doing is holding a sign, why does it need to be a living-breathing-person? Actually, this construction fail is no fail; we applaud the thinker behind this one!
See Ya Later, Alligator
Nothing says ‘the end of a work day’ like finding an alligator in the muddy shallows of the puddle. Even if you’re 1 hour into the day, this will be sure to send anyone packing up and saying a big NOPE to that day of work.
Sure, working outside and in the earth will also lead to encountering some local wildlife. Bunnies, birds, lizards… and then there’s giant dinosaur-like lizard creatures that are rarely even seen in the wild. This is where going home sick takes on a new meaning. Going home feeling sick by being so darn scared.
Perplexing Placements
This is the ultimate temptation for nosey people. Come on, aren’t you intrigued at what’s behind this door? Or how they managed to install it completely one sided? To every single person who comes across this door-in-the-wall, that’s got to stop them in their tracks. And then try to work out how to get a tall enough ladder to investigate the mystery for themselves. It’s just too darn tempting to shrug off.
What’s most perplexing in this scenario, however, is not where the door leads, but what happens to the person who’s walking through it from the other side! Hopefully the ground below has some convenient old mattresses lying around.
Who needs stairs when you can just jump
and again
yet again
Well try the stairs
or maybe these
or the escalator perhaps
need some dosh?
Shhhh… No One Will Notice…
Unless they have a higher view. Like the person taking this picture. Or tall cars. Or houses close by. On second thoughts - maybe not the best place to be doing some sneaky on-the-job games. It’s bad enough to be caught doing it with playing cards or on paper. But scratched into the concrete road, now that’s a little too permanent to cover up. Look how clear and neat the lines and shapes are… almost as if they’ve done this before.
*Gasp* that’s what they do before they dig up roads! Draw pictures and play games in the concrete. Who else is considering a career in construction now?
Save Your Business for Outside
Searching for a cheap way to save water? Here’s one… make it absolutely impossible to go to the toilet. This will cut down all the water from the flushing you’d otherwise be doing, by forcing you to go outside for your business. This contractor’s effective solution to your high water bills is a complex and skilled construction trick of building the skin basin top to cover the whole toilet.
For those people who have little ones in the house learning, maybe they’ll still fit into the tiny space and feel nice and snug. Could be a useful trick to create a ‘safe’ space for potty training, right?
Good to Know
What would we do without roadside signs? So important to be notified on what’s happening in the area as we drive by. When the road is wet and slippery. If construction works are going on. If those dinosaurs are on the loose again. Yes, you read right. So did everyone who would have seen this sign. Even if everyone took it as a funny joke, we’re sure that this sign would have turned some heads and made those driver re-read a few times.
Which, by the way, is actually not the safest thing in the world. Having all the drivers turn their attention and confusion at first to the sign, and off the road. Anything could happen if they looked away for too long! Like crashing into that Brontosaurus.
He Had One Job
An easy one too… put the metal pipe in the wall. To make it even easier - here’s a ladder to help you reach. Sometimes the simplest jobs can turn out the most complex. Like this issue here of how to get the ladder out when there’s a big metal pole through the hole. This worker was so close to perfection, and one little mistake makes this a whole lot harder to undo
One question: Did the person holding the ladder below notice, and just not say anything to his co-worker? On the upside, anyone else climbing up in the future won’t need a spotter below, that ladder isn’t going ANYWHERE!
Forget Box Seats
Who needs fancy schmancy tickets and year round seats when you’ve got this lucky row at half price! To save money on your next ticket to the game, why not buy a seat in the ‘budget row.’
You’ll see absolutely nothing of the game, but you’ll sure hear it. Oh no, wait, we’ve just been told it’s a sound blocking wall as well. Ok, well at least you’ll still get the hotdog man coming by. Actually, no, we’ve been informed that the budget row is too far for him to come. Alright, what you DO get is a seat. A nice hard plastic seat to sit on. Anything to save a few bucks, right?
Naps, All Around
Just don’t get caught on the job. Next time, if you’re a contractor looking to get some sneaky shuteye, we suggest taking shifts to be on guard for the owner to get home early and catch you in the act. The mistake here was letting everyone join in on the nap action at the same time. Take shifts, and keep a hammer and paintbrush handy so if you’re close to getting caught, you can pick them up, get back to work, and hopefully hide your sleepy eyes and yawns from the boss.
An alternative option is to ask the bosses and owners if they’d like to join in on the napping action, you might just be surprised at what they say; everyone loves a good nap!
Close Connections
Ok, so we know that as a general rule, you can save a lot of space when planning building layouts by efficient and effective bathroom design. Though the above example is a space saving technique that isn’t really recommended. There’s feeling comfortable in the bathroom with your fellow comrades, then there too far in personal space disruptions.
This one is too far. Not to mention, would two people even fit to be able to go to the toilet here, guys? This one takes ‘shoulder-to-shoulder’ a little too literal, we think.
This Doesn’t Seem Real
But the picture proves it. Yep - that’s right - transformers ARE REAL. Or at the very least, this machine does an awfully good impression of one. What we want to know is - did they do it on purpose, and how much practice did it take? Because if that really were an extra skill, you could totally advertise that. New addition to the contracting CV: “Can climb up towers with heavy machinery.”
You’d just have to note in small print: “does not give any benefit for work effectiveness and productivity. But it sure looks badass!
Truthful Words
We have a feeling that this person knew exactly what they’re doing. And we relate. Come on, you too would have a few projects around your home that have been sitting half finished for years. It’s innocent enough to quite get to the end of something before losing interest and picking up a new project in its place. Sometimes our attention span just isn’t the longest. Perhaps not so innocent when the thing unfinished is a little more vital. Like correct plumbing in the home. Or a sealed roof to any building.
In this case, it’s a harmless sign. If the owner was speaking the whole truth, however, we wonder how many of the rest of the cars inside this garage are actually in complete, working order. That’s when the innocence of unfinished thing is a little lost. This person would be 100% accountable and guilty if those cars had an accident due to unfinished break checks!
First Day?
Handles are a wonderful addition to our doors. Such a smart creation, allowing us to open and close our entrances with ease. Such a simple design, which allows even any inexperienced handyman to install at home… or maybe not. This person HAS to be new to this kind of work to make this kind of mistake. If it were a professional handyman, they need to find a new day job. If it were a regular guy trying his own home fixes, he needs to stay in his day job.
Whoever it was, no judgment. They tried their best and that’s all that matters. No excluding those who just don’t have the skills; our door is always open here…
Extra Additions
Come on, we’ve all done it. Added an extra letter, word or line to some kind of sheet of paper, drawing, or sign. Just to jazz it up a bit. Or make a hilarious sentence that was just asking to be edited by bored and mischievous hands.
Like this witty addition to the road sign. For the people not recognising this character from the famed Lion King movie… #1: No, it’s not a lion apocalypse. #2: Go and watch the movie right now. Who thought of this? Genius.
The Floating Garage
We’re sure you’ve already seen a meme pop up from time to time that reveals the hilarity of failed attempts at constructions. At the same time, it sucks to be the one who has to clean up after the not-so-successful contractors. Like stairs leading to nowhere, random roads and windows completely made redundant. When it comes to smaller, home-style jobs, these mess-ups are harmless. Though what happens when city and public contractors mess up BIG TIME? We get a collection of amazing pictures and memes to create our very own gallery of hilarious fails, that’s what. Anyone reading who is considering hiring your own contractor, or who works in the business, take note - this is definitely what NOT to do.
Ok, this is probably the least functional garage in history. Have you even seen an upper story garage? Surely it would have been noticed in the building plans that it may be a little difficult to park the car on the second storey with no driveway, slope or any kind of path leading to the door. Perhaps not. Though come to think of it, maybe it still is totally functional. Perhaps the man of the house turned a blind eye to the construction plans as he knew that if no car could fit it in, he could complete his very own man cave with all the leisurely additions. Still one issue though - anyone got a crane for the pool table?
Confusing Informativeness
Signs are great. They give us wonderful information, very necessary for living our lives. Like to slow down. There’s a stop light ahead. How much the apples cost. Directions. Safety Warnings. Greeting. And very appreciated when there’s a sign informing us if there’s construction going on.
For this theatre, however. We’re not quite sure what’s going on. Is that the movie name? Is it a new show? Was the sign composer trying to entertain themselves on a slow day? Or is it an encrypted message of extreme importance? Maybe it’s all of those things. Maybe it’s just gibberish. Either way, we wonder how long it was like that until someone noticed enough to ask questions. Like, ‘how was getting your hurrrrrrrr done?’
Disruption on the Tracks… (Permanently)
Ever been on a train where they stop for an unspecified amount of time, leaving you wondering what it is that was found on the tracks, or how long the schedule will be off for? Imagine being on this train when they realize that there’s no fixing this problem right away. Honestly, who would have completed this job, thinking it was going to be ok?
‘A little concrete never hurt anybody…’ well… when set on to of the train tracks it definitely hurts the commuter’s chance of getting to work on time. Maybe take the bus tomorrow.
An Insiders Perspective
Maybe the contractors were just being super nice in thinking of the view the chimney bricks would have, and wanting to create a scenic outlook with this window addition. It’s got to be hard to dust that windowpane though. Ah well, cuts down on extra chores.
People trying to peak inside (like those nosey neighbours) would be completely disappointed to find that there’s no interesting snapshots of the inner lives of the people of this home when looking through the window from the street view. Or perhaps the inhabitants of this home are the ‘Brick’ family?
Puzzle of the Day
Ever bee to a relative or friends house where they give you the low-down on how the shower or bath works, and you feel like you needed a pen and paper to remember it all? Try wrapping your head around this washing-scenario. You’d need a whole book worth of notes to remember this one. And a diagram. And an audio recording to be safe.
Seriously - what are all of these taps for? Hot, cold, a little bit hot, warm, a little bit cold… we thought washing at the end of the day was a relaxing self-care ritual, not a mind-boggling puzzle!
Making a Point
This was a perfect moment captured. The moment when another handyman put the dimensions to the test of this drive thru, making a solid point that if the measuring tape is really that stretched out, the menu sign is just too far away. Maybe it’s a new form of subtle advertising. A way to encourage fast food lovers to cut down a little bit by taking away the relevant information needed to order the food!
Either that, or this person doing the measuring is doing a quick drive bye to check his own work, only later realizing once it’s concreted in that it’s a little too late to make adjustments.
Solid Landing
Nothing feels better than finally standing up from a long day of sitting. Like most students, you’ll know the feeling of getting a nice good stretch to the body, and also that exciting feeling bubble up when you realize it’s the end of the day and freedom awaits. So you get up, grab your bag and run out into the halls and FALL THROUGH THE FLOOR.
This one might not be on the building contractor, but possibly the budget. Looks like those education cuts effected the quality of materials. Seems like cardboard isn’t the best option for second storey floors. Note taken. Lesson learned. Now let’s get this kid out of the ground…
You’ve Been Warned
Construction fail #1: Leaving the heavy machinery unattended. Construction fail #2: Leaving the heavy machinery unattended and on someone else’s property. This contractor was just asking for trouble. We’re quite impressed with the wrapping skills of the culprit here. Not sure if they thought it through completely as the most effective revenge, however.
They gave the owner the benefit of waterproofing their machinery from the outside weather, as well as any other possible scratches, dust and damage. Lessons learned for everyone! Don’t leave your stuff lying around. And don’t try to get revenge on stuff-leaver by inadvertently protecting said stuff.
Can You Clean Up for Me?
For the newbie workers on the job, the young apprentices, they’re the ones usually getting all those boring jobs during the day. Coffee runs. Mixing cement. Cleaning up at the end of the day. Not gonna lie, we feel pretty bad for the soul who got stuck with cleaning this up at the end of a long day.
We also hope that it wasn’t his car in the line of completely smashed vehicles under the fallen machinery. That’s a definite damper to your week - cleaning up gigantic crane AND a totaled car, all in the same day! Not the best luck. By the way, how do you think the driver escaped?
VERY Serious Work
It would feel pretty crappy not taken seriously for the hard labour of your job. Long working hours, blood, sweat and dealing with public complaints all just a general part of an expected day for any construction worker. They come home exhausted and depleted after all that physical work, and then have to deal with the negative attitudes from the public that the small amount of lazy workers have created. Which is why it’s nice to let off some steam once in a while.
All those people saying that workers just muck around and joke their way through work, that’s got to get some of those workers down. So the best thing to do is get some lightness back into your life by mucking around and making some jokes. That’ll show em’. Right?
That’s Catchy
The selling style of this handyman is to be admired. Not by the husbands driving however. Actually, half the population may be a little unnerved by this phrase. But the other half may be tempted to take up the offer! Ladies - who else is still waiting on their man to finally finish last year’s renovation?
Maybe the husbands need to take some tips from this pro. Confident in his ability, and himself. Some would say overconfident. But if he delivers what he says, hey, we’ll get on board.
Tow Zone
Didn’t you see the sign?! This takes parking in the wrong zone to a whole new level. It may seem harmless to quickly park in a tow away zone to run into the store for a few minutes. Or overstay by 15 minutes when the parking time ends. Everyone does it, don’t they? Actually, most people would prefer not to have their cars potentially being towed away, so most people wouldn’t take the risk. Our advice to you is, accept the consequences.
You may get away with it 9/10 times, but that one time when you come back from buying those fruit and veggies and see that your car is not only gone, but in the sky hanging from a crane, then you’ll be sorry.
Lets hope there is no fires
© Coolimba 2018#
